Mission: Family: Keep an eye on your child when a parent deploys - Army Spouse and Family Resources - Army Times

Mission: Family: Keep an eye on your child when a parent deploys

With more information coming out about the adverse effects of deployments on military children, families want to know how they can help their kids.

Two more studies have quantitatively linked some problems among young children — moderately lower academic performance and increased mental health and behavioral issues — to their parents’ deployments.

These findings and other research have stitched together a story, said Anita Chandra, a behavioral scientist and manager of the Behavioral and Social Sciences Group at Rand Corp. While many military families do well during deployments, these cumulative amounts of time away from home are taking a toll.

“Resiliency is a rubber band, but it can only be stretched so far,” Chandra said.

Rand is launching more studies on the effect of deployments on families, and on characteristics that help some families fare better at weathering them.

The two recent studies reiterate the importance of providing support to military families, but note that many of those who provide this support are outside the gate and may need some reinforcements from the military.

Rand researchers recommend that more resources be provided to support students with their schoolwork and that the military improve the flow of information to schools to identify military children and inform school officials about their parents’ deployment schedules.

Why wait? Do what some families already do: When your service member is about to deploy, let teachers and others in the school know, and keep in touch so that you can notify them — or they can notify you — about changes in your child’s behavior before, during or after the deployment.

One of the new studies, conducted by the Uniformed University of the Health Sciences, found that children’s outpatient mental and behavioral health visits when parents were deployed increased by 11 percent.

Two-thirds of those outpatient visits were to civilian providers outside the gate. “They don’t have the exposure to military culture that military providers do,” said Navy Lt. Cmdr. Gregory Gorman, the lead researcher.

“Hopefully, this gives awareness to that civilian provider that even though that child is not wearing a uniform, the child could be feeling stress” related to the parent’s deployment. Pediatricians and other providers need to ask about the family dynamics, he added.

You can’t assume that a health care provider knows about the military-related stressors in your child’s life. Make it a point to let him or her know that critical piece of information — that a parent is deployed.

As exhausted and stressed as you are, the more you engage your child and with the professionals who want to help your child, the better.

As Chandra said, parents are realizing that rushing around to finish the dishes and tidy up the house isn’t nearly as important as spending some time with your children.

Especially listening to them.

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Karen Jowers is the wife of a military retiree. E-mail her with issues you’d like to see addressed in Mission: Family.