Muppets, Mullen help kids deal with grief - Army News | News from Afghanistan & Iraq - Army Times

Muppets, Mullen help kids deal with grief

Rosita, Elmo and his cousin Jesse were having a heart-to-heart discussion about death with Joint Chiefs Chairman Adm. Mike Mullen and Deputy Defense Secretary William Lynn at the Pentagon.

Jesse confided that her Muppet father died last year.

“We know you’re here to share that experience,” Mullen said. “We very much appreciate your doing that. That will make a big difference for military children who have experienced that as well, and to other children in America. “

Rosita and the other two Muppets journeyed to the Pentagon to help Mullen and Lynn host a screening of “When Families Grieve,” the latest in Sesame Street’s “Talk, Listen, Connect” series.

In the past eight years, more than 12,000 military children have experienced the death of a parent, according to the Defense Department. Nationwide, an estimated 2.5 percent of children under age 18 have experienced the death of a parent.

Sesame Workshop is providing tools to help grieving families. They developed “When Families Grieve” in conjunction with an advisory board of experts in helping children in their grief. Families with children share their personal experiences, including military families — the Ruoccos and Guerecas.

“How do you tell an 8-year-old and a 10-year-old their dad made it safely back from Iraq and then takes his own life?” said Marine widow Kim Ruocco, who participated in the project with her two sons.

Maj. John Ruocco, a Marine helicopter pilot, committed suicide after returning from Iraq. She and her sons talked about the “great guy” John Ruocco was, how they carry his memory with them, and how their friends helped support them after his death.

Sesame Workshop has begun rolling out about 800,000 multimedia resource kits nationwide through organizations that provide services and resources to grieving families, such as the military services’ casualty assistance offices, Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, childhood grief centers, nonprofit aid organizations, and others. Of those, 380,000 will be designated for military families. As of April 21, the kits will be available for military families to order for free through the Military OneSource Web site.

A 20-minute DVD with the Muppets and families is included in the resource kit. A children’s book featuring Elmo and Jesse, and a resources for parents are included, in English and Spanish versions.

“It’s important to have tools to help our youngest members deal with these challenges,” Lynn said. “Elmo, Rosita and Jesse help us reach children in ways they can understand. They also reassure children they’re safe and loved. ‘When Families Grieve’ acknowledges emotions they feel. We’re very fortunate that you chose to include military families as part of the Sesame Street neighborhood.”

The kits were developed to try to help families with young children reduce the levels of anxiety, sadness and confusion that children may experience following the death of a parent, provide families with tools to support and comfort children, including ways to talk about death with a young child, and reassure children that they are loved and safe.

“Knowing I wasn’t alone really helped me a lot,” cousin Jesse told Mullen. “As bad as it feels when someone dies, it won’t always feel that way.”

While she still has bad times, she said, “I don’t feel bad all the time any more.”

She wanted Mullen to know she remembers the good times she and her dad had together. “He was super silly. Sometimes he’d make me laugh so hard I’d snort,” she said — and snorted.

But as Elmo and his dad were learning to help Jesse, they were also dealing with their own grief. Elmo missed playing baseball with his uncle.

Rolando Guereca’s father, Army Sgt. Jose Guereca, died in Iraq Nov. 30, 2004, leaving behind his wife Patty, and four sons — Rolando, 12, twins Nathan and Angel, 10, and Alex, 5.

Rolando, who participated in the Sesame Street project with his family, talked about his dad’s love of classic toys, and the collection that the family keeps in a special room they often visit for comfort. He talked about his dad’s love of classic toys, and his collection the family keeps in a special room set aside for Jose Guereca’s memory. “Every time we get souvenirs we put them in his room. And on his birthday we give him birthday cards and put those in his room.”

Rolando said when he saw the screening at the Pentagon, “it was like I was in a movie.”

“I think dad would feel proud.”