Teach the 3 T’s: Talk, tell, tackle - Military Off Duty, Army Health, military fitness, army physical fitness - Army Times

Teach the 3 T’s: Talk, tell, tackle

The Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Academy — where Dustin Floyd studied — has been teaching bully-proofing skills for years.

“We’re basically in the business of bully-proofing people,” lead instructor Rener Gracie says. The academy recently released a train-at-home DVD series based on its on-site bully-proofing class.

Founded by legendary Brazilian jujitsu master Rorion Gracie, who created the original mixed-martial-arts Ultimate Fighting Championship in 1993, the academy was tapped to build the Army’s hand-to-hand combatives program in 2002.

While there is crossover between the Gracie’s method and many of the skills taught to soldiers, the bully-proofing program relies entirely on grappling techniques designed to keep a bully from harming the intended victim — without harming the bully himself.

Rules of engagement

“It’s completely against our rules of engagement to punch or kick,” Gracie says. “We empower people with nonviolent but highly effective techniques. We try to demystify bullying so kids recognize it … and don’t go into their shell when it happens.”

Those tactics range from teaching kids how to talk their way around bullies to fast-moving body manipulation that channels the bully’s pain back on himself.

More often than not, Gracie says, bullies just want to harass — whether online or in person. But that can be even worse than full-blown fights.

“I call it the silent killer,” Gracie says. “It’s the worst kind of bullying because it’s just continuously carving away at the victim. I would rather my kid get a black eye once than get verbally harassed every day.”

That’s why the academy employs a process Gracie dubs the “Three T Steps”:

• Talk. When harassed, immediately confront the bully. “Too many people tell kids to ignore it,” Gracie says. That just encourages the bullying. Instead, whether the harassment is happening at school or online, confront the bully directly and tell him or her to stop.

• Tell. If the problem persists, tell a teacher, parent, the principal — whoever is available. “You have to bring others in and let them know what’s going on,” Gracie says. While the bully will usually deny wrongdoing, at least adults will be aware of the problem.

• Tackle. If the bullying continues, Gracie says there comes a time when kids have to go on the offensive: “Tackle them mentally by creating an ultimatum.”

This is where it gets tricky. Kids can’t challenge the bully to fight, but they can very firmly put the ball in the bully’s court by asking the question, “Are you challenging me to a fight?” When a bully is directly confronted and calmly told to take action or walk away, more often than not the bully will stand down.

But not always. Sometimes, it will come to blows.

When diplomacy shifts to force, Gracie says, all of the “positional control tactics” his academy teaches are designed to subdue the bully without causing harm.

It’s a controversial approach. Many schools enforce strict no-tolerance rules on fighting and insist kids run away from any altercation and tell an adult.

So, even if they’re just defending themselves, using force can mean disciplinary action for those on the receiving end of a bully’s blows.

“It’s a huge loophole,” Gracie says. “I think it’s one of the reasons bullying has gotten so out of control.”

Defense Department-run schools, however, take things on a case-by-case basis.

“Any student [involved in a physical altercation] may be disciplined, to include removal from school,” says Elaine Kanelis, spokeswoman for the Department of Defense Education Activity.

“Each situation is considered unique, and all students involved in physical altercations are interviewed by school administration,” she says. “Based upon the evidence provided, appropriate disciplinary consequences are applied. This would include instances of bullying.”

All that matters to Dustin Floyd is that the bullying has stopped.

Within a month of starting at the Gracie Academy, he says he feels confident enough to handle just about any situation a bully might throw his way.

Experts: Mediation is not the answer to bullying