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Kevlar for the Mind: NCOs must realize when discipline becomes abuse

In choosing column topics, I usually direct my advice toward everyone. This week’s column is different — it’s aimed at the backbone of the military: noncommissioned officers.

A recent case in which two NCOs were charged with maltreatment and cruelty to their troops — one of whom committed suicide days after joining the NCOs’ unit — prompted me to talk about the fine line between discipline and abuse.

Let me make clear that I believe the vast majority of NCOs are outstanding leaders who have tremendous respect for those they train and lead. And I am well aware that abuse by leaders is not unique to the NCO corps.

But I choose to focus on NCOs because of the direct and profound effect they have on junior enlisted members.

The line between strict discipline and abuse can be difficult to distinguish, and well-intentioned NCOs may unknowingly find themselves stepping over that line. And unfortunately, some hostile, power-hungry NCOs disregard the line and project their misery onto those under them.

One can argue which is worse, but the effect on junior enlisted members generally is the same —feelings of humiliation, low self-worth and discouragement.

For the well-intentioned NCOs at risk of inadvertently crossing the line because of stress at home and/or work, here’s a checklist. If you find yourself relating more to the “abuse” statements in each bullet, it’s time to seek help from a senior NCO, chaplain or mental health professional.

• Discipline: Demonstrates respect and confidence. Abuse: Demonstrates anger and hostility.

• Discipline: Teaches right from wrong. Abuse: Dispenses punishment without a clear explanation.

• Discipline: Encourages independent thought. Abuse: Conveys that decisions are at the whim of the NCO.

• Discipline: Does not humiliate subordinates. Abuse: Humiliates subordinates.

• Discipline: Addresses junior members by rank, name, position. Abuse: Addresses junior members by demeaning nicknames.

• Discipline: “Smokes” people to try and improve performance. Abuse: “Smokes” people for personal enjoyment.

As NCOs, you are the military’s most visible and influential leaders, responsible for training and guiding the men and women under you and executing the overall mission. You’re entrusted with vast responsibility — not the least of which is ensuring the safety of those you lead.

Yes, it’s important to push your people in order to help them grow and become competent future leaders themselves. But keep in mind that harassment, abuse and humiliation breed only resentment, disdain and defiance.

Bret A. Moore is a board-certified clinical psychologist who served two tours in Iraq. E-mail kevlarforthemind@militarytimes.com. Names and identifying details will be kept confidential. This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to convey specific psychological or medical guidance. Readers should see a mental health professional or physician for mental health problems.