To my fellow brothers and sisters in arms: As the holidays approach, most of us look forward to the warm comforts of home and spending time with loved ones. Unfortunately for many, this is also the time of the year that despair reaches its highest levels.
Troubles compounded by changing weather and further amplified by memories of happy times foregone, tug at the aching souls of the depressed.
Many of you know I lost my brother in the summer of 2008 to suicide. I was in Ranger school and got the news just a couple days after I had been told that I was also being recycled and would need to spend another 30 days in training. The news of my 15-year-old brother's suicide literally brought me to my knees.
As I sat there, collapsed and alone, on the floor of a rundown phone booth in the Florida training area, I was crushed. I was in a stupor for several days after, wandering around and doing what I could just to keep my thoughts from drifting back into helplessness.
Admittedly, my thoughts never sank to suicide. Perhaps that is because of the way my brain functions or how I was raised. Perhaps it is a strong support system, or maybe it just wasn't bad enough to lead me down that road. It's hard to know.
What I do know is that the strength of my best friend at the time was a constant comfort and support to pull me through as I faced my brother's death. Without that steadying presence to reassure me, it would have been undoubtedly much worse. I will never be able to express my true appreciation for that time.
In the last three years I have lost three more brothers. These are not my brothers by blood but rather brothers that volunteered to shed their blood together as members of a team of warriors.
I don't know the deep personal strife that they each went through and why they chose to end their lives. I wasn't as personally close to them as others were. They were my soldiers and I was their commander. I feel as if I have failed in some ways to keep the team strong.
Though I handed off the guidon to an equally capable leader several years ago and he then to another, I still feel loyalty to that team we built.
We struggled for a year together doing what we could to manage an enormous mission, under-resourced and undermanned. Sometimes there was only a thread keeping it all together, but we all did our damnedest to ensure the mission succeeded.
Even though we redeployed, not all aspects of our mission are over.
Fellow leaders, I implore each of you to reach out to one another this holiday season and all of the seasons to come.
Find that gunner who had your cover while on patrol and the doc who was always waiting to patch you up when things went south.
Reach out to your soldier and reach out to your supervisor. Send a quick note to the guy or gal that was your spotter in the gym or in the hide position.
As veterans and warrior leaders, our responsibilities do not end when we PCS or even when we hang up our uniforms. Your responsibility to those who you deployed with, shared pain with, laughed with, ate with and chewed dirt with, does not end.
On this Veteran's Day and this holiday season, please reach out to one another. There are plenty of proud and open-hearted Americans to honor the equally difficult struggles of those who have come before us.
We need to now focus on one another, the generation that has been at war for over a decade, and be that reserve chute that we each may need some day.
I am here if you need to reach out, and I know you are all there for me as well. Let's ensure that there is no one left behind.
For those who have gone off to Fiddler's Green ahead, remember their names and remember their stories.
